Summer's here . . . almost

who would have thought that in mid to late may we would still be having 50 and 60 degree days! It has been COLD!!! But unfortunately when the weather does decide to turn - it will probably go from 60 to 90+ and not turn back! So I will try not to complain. Maybe all this rain will help with my first attempt at a garden. Cauliflower, hot and sweet peppers, tomatoes, carrots, and green beans - also sunflowers, basil, cilantro . . .

As our 2nd school year ends, I think about how different I am today as a mom than I was 2 years ago when Willow was entering Kindergarten. I really think Ava and Haleigh will have a much easier time adjusting to school that poor Willow. I put her and the teachers and the school through so much. Being the all knowing and all caring mom, what I got and what I wanted from Kindergarten were 2 completely different things. Some of you know that when we lived in Charlotte Willow had been enrolled in Montessori. (Public Montessori - FREE) I had big dreams! Of days filled with respectful learning and choice to focus on what she wanted to learn rather than just reading and early math. I was excited that her classroom was going to have a butterfly room just outside the side door and that each child was expected to have play time to help them grow. I looked forward to her learning more about give and take and respect for person, place and thing rather than making sure she knew that C makes 2 sounds! I was excited for her to be in a diverse learning group and to be in a group of parents who had made the choice for their children to be in a Montessori program. I had big dreams and ideals . . . which were quickly crushed when we moved to Charleston, WV and she was enrolled in PUBLIC school.
Now understand - the school she attends has the Highest test scores in the state, and the highest percentage of students with "gifted" talents, This school is ranked nationally and most of the teachers have been there for 20 years or more . . . The students at this school excelled in spelling bees, and math competitions, I learned that people move into these neighborhoods just so that their kids get to go to this school . . . but for some reason . . .all that did not mean SQUAT to me. Where was the creativity? Where was the idea of free thought? Where was the ART and Music programs? I only heard about reading, language and Math. What about science, history and social studies and play?
Well Kindergarten started and I gave it a few weeks, but daily Willow came home - not LOVING school! She said things like - we never get to play, we cannot read when we are done with our work, we have to sit with our heads down all the time . . . but by Christmas she was reading early chapter books! Whatever that means. I was caught between this person who wanted my kids to LOVE school and this mom who began comparing with other parents - what "reader" is your kid on? Daily I asked Willow - did you go outside today? (usually - "NO - we were not allowed, or we did not have time") WHAT?? No time for fresh air? On top of it all Willow was terrified of Fire Drills, Loud noises, overhead speakers and the bus (which she refused to ride)
I did talk with the teachers - often - and when I could I sat in and observed the room (wow I would have been bored as a student too!!) But after a while I was certain that when they saw my car pull up there was an overhead speaker notice for all the school - "Get ready - Here comes Mrs. Shawl!" I emailed, I talked with, I had conferences . . .I still did not feel that this environment of 90 minutes of daily reading and 90 minutes of daily math with a few worksheets thrown in for good measure was what I wanted for willow - or any kids for that matter. But I also knew that our only alternative was for me to school her . . . and that I wanted even less!!!! Don;t get me wrong . . . I love the idea of homeschooling . . . if I can send my kids to someone else's home to be schooled! Over the summer between school years I worried and hoped and eventually decided that Willow and i were going to be OK with school and that I was going to encourage and support the teachers. We started out 1st grade still not riding the bus, and still inherently terrified of Fire Drills. But I began my year on a positive note with the teachers and asked them what they thought would be best for her rather than what I thought she should do to make Willow more comfortable. I also talked with Willow often and asked her what she liked about school and we tried to focus on that. By the second month of school she was riding the bus home (it was too hard to get their on time in the morning), she seemed to LOVE her teacher and she was still having some "harder" days than others. She had her first embarrassing moment, (a passing gas incident) and the boys started " teasing" this year. They used words like " dummy" and "cooties". She has her first real "fight" with a girlfriend and she learned that not all kids have the same values taught to them at home. Willow and I have had lost of talks at night about how some kids exclude others and how some kids are nicer than others and that some kids have 2 parents at home and some don't. And on top of it all she seemed to excel in school and really LOVES school. Maybe it is her age, her teacher or my attitude toward it. I have to admit that I was resentful that I did not get my alternative education but what we got has been pretty good! What I originally saw as classical conditioning - Willow sees as incentives. What I saw as too much direct learning, Willow sees as her ability to excel. She takes the structure of school in stride. Maybe it is because she does not know that school can be any different.
So . . . here are the positives . . . she is learning to respect her teachers and peers, she is learning that hard work pays off, she is learning that it feels good to do well and to excel, and is happy with small amount of creativity they get outside of the many hours of direct instruction mandated by the state. She gets to go outside almost everyday , and she is a happy kid. Who and I to decided that this is NOT a good environment just because I wanted something else. When I put my wants aside and began looking at how she was growing, how could I ask for any thing else? So here we are at the end of 1st grade . . . and wow - I am such a proud parent . . . of a PUBLIC SCHOOL kid!!